I'm on the path to getting "banded" - I'm having a Lap-Band installed (is that the right word?) in about a month. Since I'm not on a weight-loss program dictated by an insurance company, my surgery isn't riding on the requirement that I lose a certain number of pounds before the procedure. This has put me in a rather odd situation: I am having a hard time convincing myself to make smarter choices, since I've "only got" a few weeks left to binge, overeat, and make unhealthy decisions. In fact, I'm making worse choices than I was before I decided to go ahead with the band.
Tonight we went out for dinner with my dad. We've been eating out all weekend since we have no food in our house. And no idea where our dishes are :) I had my meal, and then ordered a piece of cheesecake for dessert. Now, I do have a sweet tooth, but I could have shared a piece with my dad or my boyfriend. Instead I ate the whole damn thing. And felt guilty, frustrated, helpless, embarrassed, and overly stuffed afterwards.
I'm sitting here now wondering what my motivation was, and whether the Lap-Band is really the answer. If I knowingly make poor choices before the Lap-Band, is the band really going to stop me from making poor choices in the future? I've read a lot - "the band does 20% of the work, and you do the other 80%," "the band is a tool in your weight-loss toolbox." If I lose 5 or 10 pounds BEFORE the band, isn't that just a bonus amount that I don't have to worry about with the band?
Why is this so hard?
Damn the cherry cheesecake.
I did what I like to call "The Last Supper" a lot of times before surgery. I know I should tell you not to do that, but I didn't gain anything during my "last cheesecake, last biscuit, last pasta, last donut, last cake, last french fries" phase either. But...if you lose some before surgery, it makes the surgery easier for the surgeon because it will reduce the size of your liver, which lays right over your stomach...
ReplyDeleteI guess having the "last" of everything is really no different than how I'm eating currently. Maybe if I celebrate my "lasts" I can just cross those foods off, instead of continuing to eat them?
DeleteOh Lordy, I ate like a crazy person before my surgery. I did follow a rigorous pre-op diet to help shrink my liver (which I've heard helps the surgery), but before that it was a free for all. On one hand, I had to lose all that weight I gained, but on the other hand, I did and it was all fine. Don't beat yourself up!
ReplyDeleteBut when you get to 1-2 weeks out, even if it isn't required, you might think about instituting your own pre-op diet. Can't wait to hear all about your journey!
I was on a liquid diet pre-op to shrink my liver as well and I knew that once I got the band I had to change my habits, so I never had a last supper I had a last Coke and that was 2 weeks pre-op. I have never gone back, I think you really need to start making small changes in your choices because this is a mind thing if your not ready in your mind to stop your habits the band won't work you can and will stretch your small pouch. If you're ready start now you still have about a month to get your head in the game. I struggle still and I was banded on 12/12/12 down 60lbs I have 100 to lose still. Just my opinion Good Luck I will love following your journey you can follow me on FB Lap Band Lizzie.
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